Author Topic: Fuzzel’s Christmas  (Read 1952 times)

Offline HessianBlitz

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Fuzzel’s Christmas
« on: December 12, 2011, 02:17:07 pm »

Fuzzel’s Christmas

Christmas is Fuzze’ls second favorite time of year, Halloween being the first. He can wear his gas mask and chase children around the neighborhood with his combat knife. Plus he gets to play trick or treat with a claymore, he gets the treat you get the trick.

I thought that fuzzy jingle balls was getting into the spirit of Christmas when he helped put up a big “Santa Stop” sign on the roof with flashing lights. To my dismay he then rolled out a Tunguska AA into the backyard so as to shot Santa down for extra vehicle disable points.

Yesterday he started to play Christmas carols and I thought that he had finally come around and entered into the spirit of Christmas, until I heard the lyrics he was using! BTK, KMD.

So as a punishment I got him to jot down what the meaning of each carol was for him. He seemed enthusiastic and I thought that I had finally gotten through until I read his list. As below -

Silent Night – I will creepy creepy and stabby stabby so all is silent in the enemy deploy.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer –    What idiot puts a light on the end of his nose, easy kill, good eating and a nice new pair of boots.

Jingle Bells – This is what you have after you’ve cut a member of BW balls off. (Sack Full)

Jingle Bell Rock – As above then throw the BW body off the nearest cliff.

Snoopy’s Christmas – How unbelievable, dogs can’t fly and everyone knows that squirrels make the best jet pilots anyway.

Frosty the Snowman – Great, extra ice for my margarita and a carrot in the bacon hole.

O Holly Night – Full em full of holes until their spurs don’t jingle jangle no more.

Ho Ho Ho It’s Christmas – Bring on the sluty bitches dressed in Santa outfits with STD's.

Little Drummer Boy – Get that guy up the front so he draws most of the enemy fire.

Grandma got run over by a Reindeer –   I don’t know how the local cops can mistake tank tracks for reindeer prints but I’ll take as a give me.

If you would like to add to the list plz do so.

He finally admitted that Christmas is about receiving lots of presents, the crap one’s get the tank treatment. But also about giving, which means everyone gets a punch in the nose, AKA Bloody Rudolph Nose.

I hope you all have a safe and enjoyable Christmas and that Santa brings you that new rifle unlock that you always wanted.

( Like that’s going to happen, you have to earn them shitdicks)